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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28973115">it's a pain in the neck</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoelistic/pseuds/hoelistic'>hoelistic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Vampire, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mentioned Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Past Relationship(s), Practice Kissing, Romantic Comedy, Twilight References, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:55:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28973115</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoelistic/pseuds/hoelistic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Can you teach me how to kiss?” Donghyuck asks one morning. He had stayed over at Mark’s, claiming that he wanted to study for his organic chemistry midterm. But Mark knows better. Donghyuck is far more interested in Mark’s vintage video game collection than remediating his barely passing grades.</p><p>Or: Donghyuck asks Mark to be his kissing partner.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>338</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Markhyuck Week 2021, THE COLLECTION</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it's a pain in the neck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>wrote this once again in one sitting to write out stress—and listening to Epik High again. seriously they've given me so much inspiration these days I might actually finish long wips i have in mind</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Can you teach me how to kiss?” Donghyuck asks one morning. He had stayed over at Mark’s, claiming that he wanted to study for his organic chemistry midterm. But Mark knows better. Donghyuck is far more interested in Mark’s vintage video game collection than remediating his barely passing grades.</p><p>His hair is disheveled, golden, and there’s something ethereal and magical about Donghyuck this morning, underneath the pouring sunlight— a modern-day Ophelia almost. Except Mark thinks that Donghyuck is far too gone in his malicious intentions to be anything innocent like the maiden trapped in eternal slumber surrounded by pond lilies.</p><p>Donghyuck’s morning beauty leaves Mark awestruck, almost more than the question he had just asked. Mark barely stops himself from choking. He can already feel his blood – Mark’s not entirely sure if it's blood considering he’s dead – rushing through his veins and his ears becoming only a degree warmer than what they usually are (more than what vampires feel anyways.) </p><p>“Why?” He finally manages to stammer out, finally finding his sense of composure again.</p><p>“Because,” Donghyuck starts, clicking his tongue. He plays with the hem of Mark’s leather jacket and sends him an eye smile, before tilting his head and meeting the vampire’s eyes again.</p><p>There’s something elusive and playful about Donghyuck’s gaze, but Mark can’t quite guess what his friend is thinking.</p><p>Mark may be a 100-year-old vampire, but he doesn’t have any supernatural powers other than having a relatively long life – without aging of course - and being able to turn humans into vampires—with some obvious rules and procedures of course. </p><p>“Because?” Mark repeats, confused.</p><p>“Because you’re a vampire.”</p><p>“So want to kiss me because I’m a vampire?” Mark’s still not sure where Donghyuck’s going with this. “I don’t quite understand where you’re going with this Donghyuck. Do you want to kiss me because I’m a vampire? Because this isn’t Twilight. I’m no Edward Cullen for you to be fantasizing about like every other teenager during 2008. Been there. Done that. Not great.”</p><p>“Nope,” Donghyuck states continuing to play with Mark’s jacket, zipping it up until the knuckle's hand comes into contact with the vampire’s chin. “I want to kiss you because you have more experience than I do in this ‘field’. So will you teach me how to kiss or not?”</p><p> </p><p>━━━━━━━━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>“So you’ve never had your first kiss,” Mark states. It’s not a question. Mark had asked Renjun – who’s all-knowing well, because he’s Renjun – and Renjun explains that Donghyuck’s never kissed anyone before.</p><p>Even when Donghyuck always talked about fucking anything that moved, Renjun explained that it was all bark and no bite; Donghyuck just wanted to fit in with college hookup culture that’s all.</p><p>And being a virgin, especially a kissing virgin, definitely did not constitute fitting in. Especially at NYU where everyone talked about their latest Tinder date, some of them even falling in love afterwards.</p><p>“Nope,” Donghyuck smiles, not affected by any of Mark’s words. “Haven’t been interested in kissing a vampire before.”</p><p>“What made you start being interested now then?” Mark lifts one of his eyebrows. “Surely there must have been lots of other boys you’ve been wanting to kiss.”</p><p>Donghyuck hums, playing with the hem of Mark’s leather jacket again. “Certainly you can afford to buy another jacket—”</p><p>“Don’t avoid my question. And I will let you know the cost of this jacket was $500.”</p><p>“Fine. There’s been someone on my mind lately and I don’t want our first kiss to suck that’s all,” Donghyuck confesses, the faintest shade of pink appearing on his cheeks. “I just want to be prepared for the real thing, that’s all really.”</p><p>“So this doesn’t count then?”</p><p>“It’s only practice,” Donghyuck smugly replies.</p><p>"Couldn’t you ask anyone else? Jaemin? Jeno? Renjun?”</p><p>“Ew no. Jaemin’s practically kissed everyone he’s met,” Donghyuck immediately blurts out, looking at Mark with the same face he made when he realized his corndog from last week was very much past its expiration date. “And while Jeno is way hotter than you, he only has eyes for Renjun. Which means that Renjun isn’t an option either.”</p><p>Mark rolls his eyes.</p><p>“So what I’m hearing is that I’m your last option.”</p><p>“You said it not me.” Donghyuck grins.</p><p>“Fine.” Mark gives in and Donghyuck grins even wider, a little devil.</p><p>“I’ll be awaiting our first lesson then Mark,” Donghyuck cheers before leaving a small peck on Mark’s cheek. “Now don’t get too excited yet. That was just the warm-up.”</p><p> </p><p>━━━━━━━━━━━━</p><p> </p><p><br/>
“So where do you want to kiss?”.</p><p>“Geez, couldn’t you at least be a bit more romantic? I’m giving you my first kiss after all,” Donghyuck whines. “You should at the very least take me out on a date first.”</p><p>“You’re the one who asked me to teach you how to kiss,” Mark mutters, already feeling annoyance bubbling in his tone. “I don’t see why I have to take you out on a date first. Plus I’m broke.”</p><p>“What? How can you be broke? You’re a fucking vampire. Shouldn’t you have like a large fortune amassed because you’ve been living for over the past century?”</p><p>“Once again may I repeat that only pertains to the Cullens. And no. I am not rich. Believe it or not, going to college all of the time to make sure no can tell I’m a bloody vampire has left me very broke. Honestly, I should have moved to Europe when I had the chance.”</p><p>“God, you’re no fun.”</p><p>“Says the boy who’s asked a 114-year-old vampire how to teach him how to kiss instead of working on his organic chemistry homework.”</p><p>“Way to rub salt on the wound,” Donghyuck says. “I guess since you’re not taking me to McDonalds for the very honor of being the first vampire to kiss me, we can kiss now I guess.”</p><p>Mark’s kissed plenty of people during his time as the immortal undead.</p><p>Princes. Humans. Witches. Other vampires. A werewolf named Yukhei, who in retrospect, was the slobbiest kisser he’s ever met, and regrets having fucked him in a dirty motel in Myeong-dong because he was very cute and sweet. Mark vowed never again to be someone’s rebound and told him to get his shit together. </p><p>So, he’s not inexperienced. It’s just…he hasn’t kissed anyone in a very long time, and he doesn’t want Donghyuck’s first kiss to be bad. Mark’s always had a soft spot for Donghyuck, and he doesn’t want to take any of his friend’s firsts just because of inexperience. Donghyuck deserves more than a vampire that half the time doesn’t know what he’s doing. </p><p>Mark can already see Donghyuck close his eyes waiting to be kissed, so he places his thumb underneath Donghyuck’s lips and comes closer. His lips ghost Donghyuck’s and Mark’s too nervous to go with it. It didn’t hurt that Donghyuck was very pretty, but at the same time, he’s still very much hesitant to take away his first kiss. </p><p>But this much hesitation isn’t very good, Mark concludes. He doesn’t want Donghyuck to feel unattractive.</p><p>Compared to Donghyuck, Mark’s lived in a battlefield of different decades, each one meeting countless other people, and carrying with him their stories. He’s told Donghyuck about all the people he’s fucked nights they’ve gotten drunk, the people he’s clawed and carved his fangs into their bodies.</p><p>Rejecting him might make Donghyuck feel worse about never having his first kiss and never mustering the courage to confess to his crush, so Mark finally kisses Donghyuck.</p><p>Like everything about him, Donghyuck tastes sickeningly sweet like honey, Mark finds out. And he’s more pliant than Mark expects him. Mark had wondered if Donghyuck would kiss like he talks, brash and nipping at Mark’s lips as he does about everything else. He always chases after Mark in a game of cat and mouse, always vying for whatever attention Mark would give him. </p><p>But Donghyuck isn’t being obnoxious and instead lets Mark take the lead. It’s much better than he imagined, and Mark thinks that this first kiss should be enough to satisfy Donghyuck.</p><p>But Mark has a fleeting thought that he wouldn’t mind kissing Donghyuck again. And one he tells himself to erase from his head. <em>Why are you so stupid? Don’t be going and catching feelings for Donghyuck right now</em>. <em>He just told you he wants to become a good kisser for his crush and that crush is definitely not you.</em></p><p>Donghyuck breaks away, much too soon for Mark’s taste now. Mark readjusts himself, trying to hide the fact that he enjoyed kissing his friend. </p><p>“Was I good?” Donghyuck asks, voice small and soft, much more than Mark was ever accustomed to. “I mean—did I do well?”</p><p>“Yeah, you did Donghyuck,” Mark mumbles, placing his hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder, desperate for whatever tension there may be between them now, to leave. Donghyuck is someone else’s. There’s no room for Mark to suddenly start thinking his friend was cute after kissing him. “I think you’re good to go.”</p><p>“I could do this every day, y’know? I don’t feel quite ready to graduate yet.”</p><p> </p><p>━━━━━━━━━━━━</p><p><br/>
 <br/>
Mark knows this is wrong, kissing Donghyuck again. He keeps telling himself it’s just one more night each passing day, that once Donghyuck grows old of him, all of these practice kisses will stop and Donghyuck will finally find the courage to kiss the boy of his dreams.</p><p>Everything about this is a bad idea— and much worse than fucking Wong Yukhei twice, the second time in Hong Kong, after knowing that the werewolf still had very strong feelings for his ex.</p><p>But Mark had always thought with his dick before his undead heart first, and while his dick was certainly pleased with Yukhei’s mouth, the words that came out afterward definitely stung.</p><p>Too much.</p><p>But he doesn’t know how long this can go on before Mark catches too many feelings for his kissing partner (kissing student feels too gross, so Mark optioned for a partner instead). </p><p>But it happens again. </p><p>And again. To the point that when Donghyuck greets Mark, the first thing that they do is make out. Frankly, it’s become too much for Mark’s undead heart to handle and he swears that it’s started beating again—which hasn’t happened since he was turned into a vampire at the age of 21 because some rich duke that visited the rural side thought Mark was hot and wanted Mark to be his and his alone. </p><p>Mark figured that faking his death and becoming a vampire was a much easier alternative than confronting his problems head-on like every other responsible adult his age. That and the fact that the duke would probably never stop chasing after him because he had never been rejected before.</p><p>“Hyung, have I gotten better at kissing?” Is the way Donghyuck always ends up ending their long hours on Mark’s old couch making out. </p><p>“Yeah,” Mark always says. “But you need more practice.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Donghyuck always replies back. “Practice makes perfect.”</p><p><br/>
 </p><p>━━━━━━━━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>And it happens again.</p><p>And again.</p><p>Now even in the dirty university bathroom stall and wherever Mark and Donghyuck can find some extremely vague sense of privacy. </p><p>The university dean certainly didn’t appreciate the fact that the two were caught making out in the humanities department lounge when the new visiting professor was just about to get acquainted with everyone (fortunately no one get in trouble and the new professor is all about college students having fun before their student debt kills them.)</p><p><br/>
 </p><p>━━━━━━━━━━━━</p><p><br/>
 <br/>
Renjun, always all-knowing Renjun, comes by and knocks Mark into some sense. </p><p>Some. Semantics really. Because Mark being Mark, insists that this is all practice for when Donghyuck finally confesses to his crush and they live happily ever after in a love story better than Twilight.</p><p>“For someone who’s lived over 100 years, you’re very stupid hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>━━━━━━━━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>Renjun isn’t wrong. Mark admits he’s stupid and hasn’t learned one thing about love or romance in his extremely long life here. And he’s stupid enough to be damned to getting his heartbroken. <br/>
 <br/>
 Mark decides on a Wednesday night to talk with Donghyuck about whatever this is. Renjun told Mark to tell Donghyuck about his feelings on Monday, but Mark being Mark, decided that Mondays sucked too much to possibly ruin their friendship over what was supposed to only be practice kissing. </p><p> </p><p>━━━━━━━━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>“We need to talk,” Mark says when he walks into his living room, Donghyuck already halfway with finishing Pokemon Yellow again for the fourth time that week. </p><p>“About what?” Donghyuck innocently turns his head, and Mark can’t help but start thinking about how he wants to make those pink cupid’s bow lips his. </p><p>He mentally slaps himself before continuing, “Donghyuck, we can’t continue practicing anymore.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“You’ve graduated. You’re a good kisser now and you can finally ask that guy out now.”</p><p>“Oh, I’ve already kissed him already,” Donghyuck smiles.</p><p>“That’s good—what the fuck Donghyuck,” Mark instinctively yells out, already feeling like shit because he’s helped his friend inadvertently cheat on his boyfriend. “You can’t be kissing me when you’re already dating someone else.”</p><p>“You didn’t let me finish,” Donghyuck points out. “I’ve already kissed the person I like because I’ve kissed you. The person I like is you, you idiot.”</p><p>“But you said that…”</p><p>“You and Renjun were the ones who assumed that I’ve never kissed a person before,” Donghyuck quickly elaborates, finally turning off the Nintendo Switch to address Mark properly. “I remember specifically mentioning that I’ve never kissed a vampire before, not that I was a complete kissing virgin, although Reddit did give me a lot of advice about seducing you through kissing. Something about making you realizing the sexual tension between us. Didn’t get to read the rest.”</p><p>“So do you still want to continue making out?” Mark dumbly replies, still very much processing Donghyuck’s confession.</p><p>“Like as in practicing?”</p><p>“Like as in boyfriends.”<br/>
 <br/>
So they kiss again, this time sweet and tender.</p><p>And again, until Mark finally says, “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”</p><p>“I thought we already made it official? God did you really have to kill the mood?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Find me here:<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/_ourloveispink">twitter</a><br/><a href="https://curiouscat.qa/hoelistic98">cc</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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